I hope you understand

I remember your eyes not so distant and your words not so shallow. And if that's the case then why do I get the sensation that I'm drowning ever so slowly?  My bruised eye lids can't take in the sight.

The ache inside is subsequent to the blindness I have in the subject of human affection. It sets in like infection and the chaos runs through collapsing veins. I hope your quite done because I'm far from finished.

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Take what you want from me. This Halloween I plan on going out with a shot of vodka, ammonia and bleach. If you hear a scream just play pretend and walk on because it will most likely be me.

We were broken fingers, crushed moths and hurricane victims. Sublime in the way you could scream and bleed and never cry. Any recollection of warmth in my bones let me know we still share a skeleton.

.

My grave was dug by sad indie songs; my heart mummified by explorations of self torture and homeless nightmares. I was never brave when it came to the games of love. And I hoped you could understand.

Gray morning light filtered past like ghost. Space cowboy I always believed you'd go far. In two more months you won't even be the same boy I'm starving for. But it will have to suffice for now I suppose.

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Shot rats at the quarry to appease my mind. Walked in the direction of traffic just to see if the world cared enough. They don't know how scary living really is; its death and war that comes ever so easy.

The nightmare was broadcasted across my ceiling. All we ever wanted was to be known, was to be haunted, to be alone. I tattooed lovely across my wrist in a last attempt at wreckage. I hope you understand.